“Hey, how are you doing?”
How many times in a day do we say that but be honest with yourself, how much interest do you really have and do you take the time to really hear the answer?
We are all so busy.
Spouses, kids, jobs oh my!!!
With my friends I am a bit famous for saying, “You have an hour for lunch?” and then two hours later we are walking out.
Or, “I have an idea, you have fifteen minutes?” and ninety minutes later we are wondering where the time went.
I know a few people who avoid these questions as they know what will happen if they say yes. That’s OK, one day I will wear you down.
Check out this article from the New York Times Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
I guess for me I would rather get into the “stuff” of others lives and share mine than talk about the weather, Hollywood or sports (yeah I did just say that). I have always been this way.
The past four weeks I have been on a bit of a journey within myself and have reached out to some friends for their thoughts. I know every day that I am blessed to have a circle of friends who are there for me as they I know I am for them.
And it has been interesting that as I share what is on my mind they too at some recent point have thought about it, gone through it or see it coming.
So why is it so hard to talk about what I call the “good stuff”? Is it we do not want to be vulnerable, weak or do we not want to (or unable) to take the time?
I guess I got past that a long time ago.
This week I have had a few conversations with people who I know online but had never met, one was just a matter of weeks and another for two years (that one ended up being four hours).
While the conversations start with “How are you doing” it’s not until you get into the “how are you really doing” that it gets good.
It’s then when you talk about life stuff like babies being born, aging parents, promotions, foreclosures, fear of loss, writing a book, starting over, moving, new love and so much more that the conversations and relationships get going.
To my friends who have listened to my ramblings, fears, dreams and tangents I want to say thank you for not just listening to me but also for sharing your “stuff” too.
And I look forward to more “good stuff”.