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Fear Factor

The last few days I have bumped into quite a few people, a couple of them dear friends of mine, who seem to be handcuffed by fear when it comes to their job search. The fear is on many different levels. Most fear rejection, some fear failure, a few fear not being good enough. One guy I have known for many years and I swear he is fearing success.


Maybe this industry has jaded me a little bit. I wonder, although I doubt I want to know, how many times I have been rejected since April of 1998 when I got into this gig.


In the beginning I was rejected by numerous companies because I was too green, not a known commodity, and we were small. They were right but I had a company to build and bills to pay so I kept going.


Then I think of the thousands of candidates that for one good reason or another (or lied) were not interested in what I had to offer. Maybe it was the wrong location, bad timing, etc. But I only needed the right one at the right time to say yes.


So really I could care less about being rejected. It is rather liberating. If I can be told no enough times then I know a yes coming soon.


Yeah, I know that sounds weird but it works for me.


My advice to job seekers is this, your job is to find a job. I have said it many times here before and it is one of the main themes when I do the job search seminar. If you are a college student, your goal is to get that first “real job” so you can afford rent, student loans, and hopefully that new car you have been wanting.


If you are in your 50’s you have even more reason not to fear rejection. You likely have kids, a spouse, a mortgage, car payment(s), and retirement to think about.


You have no time for fear…


Let me try a different angle on this. I have a single friend. A good-looking dude with a sweat car, great loft, awesome family and yes a great personality. He’s a great guy but he freezes around women. Freezes, literally. Tongue tied. Sweaty palms. The only he does not do (thankfully) is drool.


So I told him we were going to hang out for a weekend and go to many different places like the Farmers Market, the downtown bar scene, the uptown lake scene, etc, likely places where women hang out. That sounded good to him until I told him our goal over the weekend was for him to meet 100 women. Yep, 100. He freaked out and said no. I never should have said it, I know.


My logic is if you meet 100 women, get the names of 70, the phone numbers of 25, the right phone numbers of 15 (because women will not always give you the real phone number), and ten change their mind, or will be traveling for work, or do not return the call, you still have 5 yes’s.


5 women saying yes in a month is more than a date a week. How are you doing now?


Fear is holding you back and soon as you can shake free from it, or at least push it aside for a little while, the sooner thinks will work out for you.


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